Easily Handle Difficult People

Whether on the job or in one’s personal life, we all have to deal with “difficult” people on occasion. The most troublesome people to deal with are those that fly off the handle at the smallest problem. I call these people “tigers” because they can be quick and deadly. Yet, there are other types of difficult folks we have to contend with. There are also the gossipers, the backstabbers, and the naggers. In order to create successful relationships, we need to know how to effectively handle people when they go into these modes of operation.

The sad truth is that most people’s normal or habitual way of handling difficult people — getting angry at them or staying silent — tends to be like putting gasoline on a fire. It simply doesn’t work. Yet, there are simple strategies for turning tigers into pussycats, and transforming backstabbers, gossipers, and naggers into sincere, honest human beings.

The first step in dealing with any difficult person is to hear what he or she has to say, and to acknowledge their current reality. Acknowledging their reality does not mean you agree with him or her, it just means you understand their feelings and what they’re trying to say. For example, let’s say your boss, Bob, steps into your office and yells, “Where the hell is the McKenzie report? I told you I wanted it on my desk by noon. I’m sick and tired of always having to wait for you to get things done…