How To Never Fight Again With Your Partner

Some couples (and even therapists) say it’s healthy to have occasional fights with one’s partner. To me, that sounds like a rationalization. Fighting with your partner is no fun, and the hurtful words that result can often do lasting damage to the relationship. I know many couples who never fight with their partner — and they seem very happy — including my wife and I. So what’s the secret to never fighting? I’ve asked dozens of couples who don’t fight what their secret is, and their answers fall into three distinct techniques or categories. Once couples find the idea that best works for them, they can say goodbye to fights forever. With zero time spent fighting, there’s more time for an even deeper love to emerge.

Red Light

If you’re like most couples, you occasionally get upset at your partner. That’s normal. The problem is that those upsets can turn into an awful argument if you’re not careful. As the two of you grow increasingly irritated, a momentum of nastiness can soon develop. When two people are really mad at each other — no actual listening occurs. In such a scenario, empathy and understanding become impossible. What can you do? Well, you can say two simple words: red light. As we all know, a red light at an intersection means you have to stop and wait for a while. Likewise, when you say the words “red light” to your mate, it signifies the two of you need to take a five-minute break from each other. Once the five minutes are over, you can proceed in whatever way you both feel is best.