The 3 Keys to Relationship Cohesion

In an attempt to better understand how relationships begin, maintain, or slowly fade away, I propose a simple model that, I believe, can explain much of a couple’s behavior. The purpose of a model is to turn a complex world into a simple framework that is both insightful and of practical value. The “Relationship Cohesion” (RC) model I propose here can quickly help couples understand the relative “strength” of their relationship. In addition, this simple model can also be used to point the way towards creating greater stability and flexibility in one’s romantic partnerships.

The foundation of the RC model is that, at its simplest level, there are three “legs” to successful, stable relationships. These three legs could briefly be labeled as 1) Good Sex. 2) Proximity and 3) Love. Good Sex is pretty easy to define: both partners enjoy having regular sex together that is mutually satisfying. Proximity could be defined as both people living near or with each other. Obviously, “near” is relative. Yet, two people who live 10 minutes away from each other will clearly have a much easier time maintaining a relationship than a couple who live many hours away from each other.

The third and final “leg” in the RC model is “Love.” Of course, like “Proximity,” “Love” is not an all or nothing thing. However, the greater the love a couple has for each other, the greater the bond they will share…