Why Massive Rejection is the Best Sex Foreplay Technique

As a teen, I was so shy that, by the time I was a freshman in college, I was a virgin and had never asked a woman out. Yet, I felt a deep calling to do so. Okay, my calling came from teenage hormones, but I’ll take my callings wherever I can get them.

To get over my fear of asking women out, I figured I’d face my fear of rejection head-on. I decided to get rejected by ten women in one hour. If I did this, I’d treat myself to a trip to Hawaii. I really had no idea what this would be like. Well, it was hell, but hotter and more awkward. As I approached the first young woman, beads of sweat dripped continuously down my face. My entire body started shaking — as if I was freezing to death. The “conversation” went something like this:

Me: (stuttering) hell…hell…hello?

Woman: (seeing me shaking and sweating) Are you alright? Do you need a doctor or an ambulance?

Me: No, no, I don’t need a doc..doctor…no…I just need to take a deep breath so I don’t vomit.

Woman: (worried) Are you having a seizure?

Me: No,…maybe…no… I’m just a little ner…ner…nervous.

Woman: Okay. Okay. I’m glad you’re not having a seizure…

Me: Uh, you seem very nice…would…would you like to go out to dinner sometime? It’s okay if you say no…

Woman: Ah…gee…thanks for asking…um…ah…I have a boyfriend so I don’t think I can do that.