Why Massive Rejection is the Best Sex Foreplay Technique

As a teen, I was so shy that, by the time I was a freshman in college, I was a virgin and had never asked a woman out. Yet, I felt a deep calling to do so. Okay, my calling came from teenage hormones, but I’ll take my callings wherever I can get them.

To get over my fear of asking women out, I figured I’d face my fear of rejection head-on. I decided to get rejected by ten women in one hour. If I did this, I’d treat myself to a trip to Hawaii. I really had no idea what this would be like. Well, it was hell, but hotter and more awkward. As I approached the first young woman, beads of sweat dripped continuously down my face. My entire body started shaking — as if I was freezing to death. The “conversation” went something like this:

Me: (stuttering) hell…hell…hello?

Woman: (seeing me shaking and sweating) Are you alright? Do you need a doctor or an ambulance?

Me: No, no, I don’t need a doc..doctor…no…I just need to take a deep breath so I don’t vomit.

Woman: (worried) Are you having a seizure?

Me: No,…maybe…no… I’m just a little ner…ner…nervous.

Woman: Okay. Okay. I’m glad you’re not having a seizure…

Me: Uh, you seem very nice…would…would you like to go out to dinner sometime? It’s okay if you say no…

Woman: Ah…gee…thanks for asking…um…ah…I have a boyfriend so I don’t think I can do that.

Me: That’s okay…thanks anyway.

Woman: Are you sure you’re all right? I could call 911 for you. Is bright white your normal color?

Me: No, I’m all right. Really. Thank you. Have a nice day. It was great meeting you…

As I walked away, I remembered something important — I hadn’t taken a breath during the entire encounter. I was about to faint. I took some deep breaths, then smiled. I had achieved my first rejection. Woohoo! Only nine more to go.

Fortunately, facing rejection becomes easier each time you do it. When I approached the second woman, another awkward conversation ensued, but it was definitely easier. By the fourth woman I approached, I was actually feeling kind of high. After all, I was conquering a life long fear and the adrenaline felt great. I figured I could do this every Friday evening as a way to get high without drugs.

Yet, the seventh woman I approached ruined my momentum. By this time, I kind of had a script I’d use, and every woman would use the “boyfriend excuse,” or some similar line. So as I sauntered up to woman # 7, I proclaimed, “Hi, I’m Jonathan. You look like a nice person and I’m new here. I’m trying to meet people, so I’m wondering if you’d like to go out to dinner sometime?”

Woman #7 looked me over. She was silent for what seemed like forever. Finally, she said, “Sure.”

It had never occurred to me that some woman might say, “Sure.” I suddenly realized I had no script to respond with if some poor woman said yes. Somewhat stunned, I muttered, “Sure what?”

The woman said, “Yes, I’d like to go out with you.”

I blurted out, “Really? Why?”

She wrote down her number and handed it to me. A wave of endorphins surged through my brain. This was better than XTC. Armed with newfound confidence and a massive amount of brain drugs, I approached the next woman. To my amazement, she also said, “Yes.” And so did the next woman, and the next, and the next. Soon I had six women wanting to go out with me. I felt like I had entered the Twilight Zone.

Then I realized I needed three more rejections or I couldn’t go to Hawaii. To get these last three rejections, I decided to start acting like a jerk. After all, what’s the worst thing that could happen? Nothing — since my goal was to get rejected.

I slithered up to an unsuspecting woman and tapped her gently on the shoulder. Then, in my best ridiculous jerky Playboy sounding voice proclaimed, “Hey babe, you look smokin’ hot. How ‘bout you come to my place Friday night for a rockin’ good time in the sack? What do you say sugar lips?”

This woman stared at me for a moment — jaw hanging open and completely speechless. Then, she smiled and said, “Sure!”

It ends up she thought my “act” was hysterical, and therefore wanted to go out with me. In fact, I never got the three final rejections or went to Hawaii. This woman said, “How about we go to your place right now stud muffin?” I responded, “Sure!”

is the author of 12 books and a frequent guest on Oprah. His website is FindingHappiness.com and his podcast is “Awareness Explorers.” email: iamjonr@aol.com

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